If you haven’t already, please read the introduction post. That will give you context for this page.
I’ll keep this short, because there’s nothing complicated to say.
Some people believe that those who are sober or who are Mormon shouldn’t hang out at places that serve alcohol or where people go specifically to get wasted and maybe hook up. (Let’s be honest, though…most places are that to a lot of people who are single or thirsty.)
And I 100% respect that there are some people fighting addictions who really should just avoid these places. Or people who don’t feel comfortable in such venues.
There are also people who look down their noses at people who go to the loud dance clubs, because quiet bars are clearly the superior choice. From what I’ve heard, this has to do with it being easier to have deep conversation and look smart with your drink or something.
But I love to dance. I love it. I was raised dancing. And there is something about that music so loud that I can feel it in my bones and a floor that is specifically for dancing. About dancing until I’m exhausted and feeling, all along, like the music is devouring me. You better believe I’m going to unashamedly let that happen when it can. (These days, it happens almost never for a variety of reasons. Which makes me sad.)
On the other hand, there are people who think that the whole “deep conversations at quiet bars” thing is pretentious and way less fun than loud dance clubs.
But I also really love long, deep conversations (especially if I don’t have to shout and I can hear the person with whom I’m conversing). There are only so many options for places to do that. And if I’m not comfortable with being alone at your home with you or I feel like a jerk for sitting at a table in a restaurant for hours after the food is gone, there aren’t really a lot of other options, are there?
From the religion perspective, there’s this worry that you want to be in places you can hear God, and people seem pretty sure that neither of the venues I’ve listed qualify. And, maybe, that’s been true for those people. But I’ve felt close to Deity in both. I have a very noisy brain, and sometimes I can lose myself enough in dancing and the overwhelm of a loud club and then…it’s like meditation. Then, my brain is somehow still, and my ears and heart are wide, wide open. And I’ve sat deep in serious conversation in those quiet bars and suddenly found myself saying truths that I didn’t know were in me, that felt like they were kind of pouring into my mind as I spoke.
And I’ve said “no” to all the things that I should say “no” to. I have gotten very good at “no.”
So, as life allows and the desire exists, I’ll keep being a patron to these places. As well as the really loud bars that are seen as equally suspect by the same populations, the bars where I get to play my music or watch others play theirs. Definitely going to keep doing that. Without shame.
Cross-posted to the Not Ashamed section of my site (so that it’s all tidy).