text: amber bird
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Not Ashamed: Unconcerned with Acting my Age

If you haven't already, please read the introduction post. That will give you context for this page.


I can't even recall when I was first shamed for not acting my age. Sometimes it was for doing things that were culturally considered "too young" for my age. Sometimes it was for things that were culturally considered "too old" for my age. I've never seemed to get age right.

The things that were "too old" weren't as exciting as you might think. In fact, it was always for times I was "too serious" or my intellectual pursuits were above my expected level. Yes, really. Obviously, when balanced with the "too young" stuff (so that you know I didn't forget being young), I find this particular one almost too ridiculous to even address and I'm certainly not going to feel ashamed of this.

The "too young" stuff, of course, is a common one. "Act your age!" seems to be something most of us have heard at some point. Of course, most people eventually take that to heart. Even when it's not reasonable and related to immature behaviours (like adults throwing tantrums and such things). Even when it's not true to who they are. They change their clothing and hobbies and goals and so forth to fit what society has declared the correct ones for their age. (To be clear, if those new clothes and hobbies and goals are who you really are, I'm not criticising. I know adults who fit the grown up mould.)

Here's where I stand on the topic of societally mandated grown up-ness: As long as I fulfil my commitments (which includes paying my bills, so I'm not a drain on your precious society) and take care of "my people" (which also includes my cat and other non-humans I might consider part of my circle), I'm adult enough. And I strive to make sure I have emotional maturity, but that has nothing to do with my hobbies, my appearance, etc. I doubt I shall ever be a grown up, and I'm just fine with that.

Interesting note: Apparently, it's common for females on the autism spectrum to have disregard for and confusion over age.

I guess, if you want grown up friends, you're probably going to want to look elsewhere, as I am entirely uninterested in giving up the magic and delights that have been declared "too young" for me. Especially as there appears to be no good reason for those things being relegated to kids and/or teens. I'm just glad I live now, when it seems there are more of us questioning at least some of what society has decided is not age-appropriate for adults. Glad that, as an artistic type, there's more room for me to go off the popular, socially sanctioned script.

Amber with nerf gun and stuffed hunting companions
Don't make us come for you. Adventure penguin and Hedgehog will get you!

Man, those who get upset about me now are really going to hate it when I'm an old lady who hasn't grown up, aren't they? Unconcerned with acting my age, now and forever. Yay!

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