{"version":"1.0","provider_name":"Amber Bird | Blog","provider_url":"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog","author_name":"amber","author_url":"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/author\/admin\/","title":"Not Ashamed: Sober - Amber Bird | Blog","type":"rich","width":600,"height":338,"html":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"yeqBXCYLFf\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/2015\/11\/22\/not-ashamed-sober\/\">Not Ashamed: Sober<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/2015\/11\/22\/not-ashamed-sober\/embed\/#?secret=yeqBXCYLFf\" width=\"600\" height=\"338\" title=\"&#8220;Not Ashamed: Sober&#8221; &#8212; Amber Bird | Blog\" data-secret=\"yeqBXCYLFf\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n","description":"If you haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t already, please read the introduction post. That will give you context for this page. Very early in my life, it became clear to me that I was inclined towards extremes and excesses. That I had a lot of emotional holes to fill or medicate away (depression, self-loathing, etc). That I was an all-or-nothing girl when it came to anything that I might be able to enjoy or use for escape. Thanks to friends and other social connections, I had access to any substance or vice I might have wanted from about age 13. I spent a lot of time trying not to make choices that would have been bad for me. Fortunately, these days, my main substance issue appears to be food. Which, as per previous posts, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve mostly got under control. However, that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to get cocky or take a chance at all. Especially now that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve watched many a bright, capable, disciplined person fall off the wagon over and over. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve watched lives destroyed. Sometimes ended. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want that. And I feel like I have a responsibility to use my talents, which would definitely be impaired by making a ruin of [&hellip;]","thumbnail_url":"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/08\/AmberBird_fromPF_portraitSQ.jpg","thumbnail_width":1324,"thumbnail_height":1324}