{"id":1013,"date":"2021-06-08T10:00:53","date_gmt":"2021-06-08T17:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/?p=1013"},"modified":"2021-05-25T21:22:02","modified_gmt":"2021-05-26T04:22:02","slug":"saved-by-the-bowie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/2021\/06\/08\/saved-by-the-bowie\/","title":{"rendered":"Thank my lucky star, man"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In January, 5 months ago exactly, when I made my \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Happy birthday, David Bowie\u00e2\u20ac\u009d tweet, I said someday I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have to find time to post about how David Bowie was \u00e2\u20ac\u0153a massive part of how I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t lose&#8211;and learned to love&#8211;my authentic, Autistic self in the face of normal societal pressures and some of the wiring that is typical if one is AFAB and Autistic.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1014\" src=\"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/2021-01-08BowieBday.jpg\" alt=\"A tweet that reads \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Happy birthday, David Bowie! Someday I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have to find time to post about how you were a massive part of how I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t lose--and learned to love--my authentic, Autistic self in the face of normal societal pressures and some of the wiring that is typical if one is AFAB and Autistic\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\" width=\"608\" height=\"646\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/2021-01-08BowieBday.jpg 608w, https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/2021-01-08BowieBday-282x300.jpg 282w, https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/2021-01-08BowieBday-113x120.jpg 113w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 608px) 100vw, 608px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>And today it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s someday.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s an incomplete list and all bullet points, but that&#8217;s because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m attempting to keep it short, because I know I can go on when it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a topic I care a lot about. Trying to pretend I can play it as cool as he did&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1016\" src=\"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/tumblr_nazd0bwQ7t1thn2bho1_500.gif\" alt=\"70s Bowie with a shock of red hair and a metallic blue jacket standing by a sign that reads &quot;Mars Hotel&quot;\" width=\"465\" height=\"349\" \/><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>He saved me from forming silly typical rules in my brain about gender things.<\/li>\n<li>He gave me a different view on sexuality so, even when I only knew one could be gay or not-gay, I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I was imagining that I fancied all sorts of people.<\/li>\n<li>He helped me see that there was something glorious in <em>not<\/em> being like everyone else\u00e2\u20ac\u201dnot mirroring the h*ck out of mainstream aesthetics.<\/li>\n<li>He made me believe I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to be like everyone else to be successful and beloved.<\/li>\n<li>He made music I could love enough that it led me to connect more to music in general and connected me to all the music that has saved me.<\/li>\n<li>His personas and knowing he used personas for public things helped me engage more in the acting that helped me do performative neurotypical-ness. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not ashamed of being Autistic and wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t change how I am, but the world sure would. And performing emotions and socialising the typical way has been sadly necessary in this world.<\/li>\n<li>And his personas and how he used them also helped me sort out how to do my creative stuff more healthily and somehow also with a little more authenticity. (Like Oscar Wilde said: <em>Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.<\/em>)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m lucky to have grown up in a home where I was introduced to him when I was still a toddler. Even if my parents were nowhere near as outside the norm as he was, my brain cleverly latched onto his appearance and his vibe\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6And I was able to believe I was who I felt like I was, and not who the world told me I was supposed to be. Forever and ever, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a Blackstar.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-1015\" src=\"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/David-Bowie-short-film-trailer-2015-billboard-650-compressed.jpg\" alt=\"David Bowie in the Blackstar video, holding up a battered book with a black star on the cover\" width=\"650\" height=\"430\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/David-Bowie-short-film-trailer-2015-billboard-650-compressed.jpg 650w, https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/David-Bowie-short-film-trailer-2015-billboard-650-compressed-300x198.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/David-Bowie-short-film-trailer-2015-billboard-650-compressed-181x120.jpg 181w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 650px) 100vw, 650px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>ps Keep your eyes open. I have it on good authority that bits about my next creative release will start trickling out later this month.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In January, 5 months ago exactly, when I made my \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Happy birthday, David Bowie\u00e2\u20ac\u009d tweet, I said someday I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have to find time to post about how David Bowie was \u00e2\u20ac\u0153a massive part of how I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t lose&#8211;and learned to love&#8211;my authentic, Autistic self in the face of normal societal pressures and some of the wiring that is typical if one is AFAB and Autistic.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And today it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s someday. It&#8217;s an incomplete list and all bullet points, but that&#8217;s because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m attempting to keep it short, because I know I can go on when it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a topic I care a lot about. Trying to pretend I can play it as cool as he did&#8230; He saved me from forming silly typical rules in my brain about gender things. He gave me a different view on sexuality so, even when I only knew one could be gay or not-gay, I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I was imagining that I fancied all sorts of people. He helped me see that there was something glorious in not being like everyone else\u00e2\u20ac\u201dnot mirroring the h*ck out of mainstream aesthetics. He made me believe I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to be like everyone else to be successful and beloved. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,11,14,4,6,22,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1013","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-actually-autistic","category-artists-life","category-bowie","category-history","category-inspirations-influences","category-live-light","category-music"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Thank my lucky star, man - Amber Bird | Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/2021\/06\/08\/saved-by-the-bowie\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Thank my lucky star, man - Amber Bird | Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In January, 5 months ago exactly, when I made my \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Happy birthday, David Bowie\u00e2\u20ac\u009d tweet, I said someday I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d have to find time to post about how David Bowie was \u00e2\u20ac\u0153a massive part of how I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t lose&#8211;and learned to love&#8211;my authentic, Autistic self in the face of normal societal pressures and some of the wiring that is typical if one is AFAB and Autistic.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And today it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s someday. It&#8217;s an incomplete list and all bullet points, but that&#8217;s because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m attempting to keep it short, because I know I can go on when it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a topic I care a lot about. Trying to pretend I can play it as cool as he did&#8230; He saved me from forming silly typical rules in my brain about gender things. He gave me a different view on sexuality so, even when I only knew one could be gay or not-gay, I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I was imagining that I fancied all sorts of people. He helped me see that there was something glorious in not being like everyone else\u00e2\u20ac\u201dnot mirroring the h*ck out of mainstream aesthetics. He made me believe I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to be like everyone else to be successful and beloved. 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It&#8217;s an incomplete list and all bullet points, but that&#8217;s because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m attempting to keep it short, because I know I can go on when it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a topic I care a lot about. Trying to pretend I can play it as cool as he did&#8230; He saved me from forming silly typical rules in my brain about gender things. He gave me a different view on sexuality so, even when I only knew one could be gay or not-gay, I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think I was imagining that I fancied all sorts of people. He helped me see that there was something glorious in not being like everyone else\u00e2\u20ac\u201dnot mirroring the h*ck out of mainstream aesthetics. He made me believe I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to be like everyone else to be successful and beloved. 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