{"id":536,"date":"2015-10-04T10:52:28","date_gmt":"2015-10-04T17:52:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/?p=536"},"modified":"2016-05-17T18:16:24","modified_gmt":"2016-05-18T01:16:24","slug":"not-ashamed-intense","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/2015\/10\/04\/not-ashamed-intense\/","title":{"rendered":"Not Ashamed: Intense"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t already, please read the introduction post<\/a>. That will give you context for this page.<\/p>\n

\n

I think intensity has some complications. As with other things on my Not Ashamed list, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not claiming that the things are all easy or good or whatever.<\/p>\n

For instance, a good percentage of the people I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve thought of as intense in my life have also turned out to be drama-magnets. Nay, not drama magnets, but massive drama generators. And the worst of my bad romantic relationships were with people whose intensity I found attractive, until it turned out that they were too easily inclined towards darker emotions (or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153thrilling\u00e2\u20ac\u009d behaviours like stalking or abuse).<\/p>\n

And I suppose that one reason I get accused of flirting when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m definitely not is that people are just so used to those who aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t<\/em> intense. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to spend time on small talk (I really loathe it) or with someone who isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t interesting. Which means I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t tend to go for light topics, and I try to pay attention to the person I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m talking to (sometimes just because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m trying to figure out if I want to keep talking). So, you find yourself in the eye of my intense storm and you wonder…But, for 99.99% of you, you really shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t.<\/p>\n

But I think of my intensity as quality. Condensed goodness. Fuel for my art. Not just for my art, but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also fuelling the fires behind my emotions, my devotions.<\/p>\n

I guess, if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re used to only those who aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t intense, maybe that can be frightening.<\/p>\n

I guess, if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve only interacted with intense people who turned out to be manufacturers of drama and chaos and unpleasantness, any intense person can be frightening.<\/p>\n

I guess, if it makes you have to look deeper in yourself because maybe now you wonder if you might also, buried in your core, have such intense emotions…or you look and see you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t match mine (in romance or friendship or bandmate-ing) and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re afraid telling me will hurt my feelings or make me angry, maybe that can be frightening.<\/p>\n

And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not going to judge you for preferring…less (nor assume that, in an objective sense, that is the same as lesser). There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a world full of people for you, and I hope that you find the best non-intense friends and romantic partners and so forth.<\/p>\n

But I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m never going to be ashamed of being intense, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to treasure those few who can dig on my intensity…and those who have some of their own without going mental on me.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not everyone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s cup of tea, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a rather strong cup. But I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d drink me (and so would a few, delightful others).<\/p>\n

p.s. I balance out my intensi-tea with a propensity for silliness and an inclination to laugh. Call it my sugar, my milk, whatever it is makes your tea something more than bracing.<\/p>\n

Cross-posted<\/a> to the Not Ashamed section of my site (so that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all tidy).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t already, please read the introduction post. That will give you context for this page. I think intensity has some complications. As with other things on my Not Ashamed list, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not claiming that the things are all easy or good or whatever. For instance, a good percentage of the people I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve thought of as intense in my life have also turned out to be drama-magnets. Nay, not drama magnets, but massive drama generators. And the worst of my bad romantic relationships were with people whose intensity I found attractive, until it turned out that they were too easily inclined towards darker emotions (or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153thrilling\u00e2\u20ac\u009d behaviours like stalking or abuse). And I suppose that one reason I get accused of flirting when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m definitely not is that people are just so used to those who aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t intense. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to spend time on small talk (I really loathe it) or with someone who isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t interesting. Which means I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t tend to go for light topics, and I try to pay attention to the person I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m talking to (sometimes just because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m trying to figure out if I want to keep talking). So, you find yourself in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,6,13,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-artists-life","category-inspirations-influences","category-not-ashamed","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"\nNot Ashamed: Intense - Amber Bird | Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/2015\/10\/04\/not-ashamed-intense\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Not Ashamed: Intense - Amber Bird | Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t already, please read the introduction post. That will give you context for this page. I think intensity has some complications. As with other things on my Not Ashamed list, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not claiming that the things are all easy or good or whatever. For instance, a good percentage of the people I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve thought of as intense in my life have also turned out to be drama-magnets. Nay, not drama magnets, but massive drama generators. And the worst of my bad romantic relationships were with people whose intensity I found attractive, until it turned out that they were too easily inclined towards darker emotions (or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153thrilling\u00e2\u20ac\u009d behaviours like stalking or abuse). And I suppose that one reason I get accused of flirting when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m definitely not is that people are just so used to those who aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t intense. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to spend time on small talk (I really loathe it) or with someone who isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t interesting. 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