{"id":581,"date":"2015-11-22T17:13:35","date_gmt":"2015-11-23T01:13:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/?p=581"},"modified":"2016-05-17T18:11:56","modified_gmt":"2016-05-18T01:11:56","slug":"not-ashamed-sober","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/2015\/11\/22\/not-ashamed-sober\/","title":{"rendered":"Not Ashamed: Sober"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t already, please read the introduction post<\/a>. That will give you context for this page.<\/p>\n

\n

Very early in my life, it became clear to me that I was inclined towards extremes and excesses. That I had a lot of emotional holes to fill or medicate away (depression, self-loathing, etc). That I was an all-or-nothing girl when it came to anything that I might be able to enjoy or use for escape. Thanks to friends and other social connections, I had access to any substance or vice I might have wanted from about age 13. I spent a lot of time trying not to make choices that would have been bad for me. Fortunately, these days, my main substance issue appears to be food. Which, as per previous posts, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve mostly got under control. However, that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to get cocky or take a chance at all.<\/p>\n

Especially now that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve watched many a bright, capable, disciplined person fall off the wagon over and over. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve watched lives destroyed. Sometimes ended. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want that. And I feel like I have a responsibility to use my talents, which would definitely be impaired by making a ruin of my life. I like myself and respect my talents too much.<\/p>\n

Please note that both those paragraphs are about me. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re a reminder to myself about myself. If you see yourself there, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not on purpose. No judgements or whatever.<\/p>\n

Sobriety is a weird thing to be shamed or treated poorly over. Especially when…<\/p>\n

I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t shame or avoid people who aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t<\/em> sober. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve hung out in bars and at parties with friends who are very not-sober. And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve willingly been the sober driver every time. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve had friends who were addicted to all sorts of things whilst we were friends (which is to say that I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t cut them out of my life, though there were some cases where I had to have limits…like only hanging out in their sober moments or in public, depending on the situation). I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve spent my birthday (which is in early January) walking over a kilometre in the rain, dressed for dancing and not for weather, in the wee hours of the morning because a friend\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s girlfriend (who had been pretty horrible to me) needed to be safely taken home and I was the sober one. And I did that without complaining. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not even complaining now.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a cheap date\/celebratory dinner. (Drinks are expensive.) But you can also suggest we go out for drinks, cos I can have soda or cheap happy hour food. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not wearing beer goggles when you need a second opinion about that person you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been hitting on all night. And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m enough not-boring sober that plenty of people have been surprised (at bars and parties) to discover that I was sober. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not boring!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d You are correct; I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not.<\/p>\n

Of course, the downside to that last one is that the stuff we were laughing at the night before when you were drunk or high? I was sober then…so it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s still funny to me in the morning and you no longer agree. I guess this is where I refer you to how I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not ashamed of being silly<\/a>…<\/p>\n

So, I cost less and I can be counted on to be a voluntary <\/em>sober driver and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not the stereotypical boring sober person and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not being judge-y at you when you aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t sober. But, apparently, I should feel bad about being sober.<\/p>\n

People have told me that they won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t date me because they can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t share drinks with me. (I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to believe that those people were just grasping for excuses to not date me and felt like the truth was too hard.)<\/p>\n

Order a non-alcoholic beverage or not share the joint everyone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s smoking? Proof that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not cool or mature. (Look, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll totally admit that I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t act like a total grown up, but you have stronger proofs against my maturity than the fact that I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t drink or get high.)<\/p>\n

And then there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just the general sneering that isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t explained when I say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153No thanks,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to a drink or a drug. I admit that I might get a bit judgemental over people who do that. Because that feels very secondary school peer pressure to me. Anyway…<\/p>\n

I totally get why people drink and use drugs, whether recreationally or in addiction-related ways. But I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get why there should be any shame in me not<\/em> doing that. (I know, I know…what sort of a rockstar am I?) The only thing my sobriety has ever negatively impacted was a server\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tip (cos no drinks means smaller bill…and I tip well, but not well enough to cover all the money I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t spend on drinks…sorry).<\/p>\n

So, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sorry that you won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be making as much off me, servers. And, sure, on rough days falling into a bottle or getting off my face sounds tempting. But I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not changing this one. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m very much not ashamed of being sober. Not in the slightest.<\/p>\n

Cross-posted<\/a> to the Not Ashamed section of my site (so that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all tidy).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t already, please read the introduction post. That will give you context for this page. Very early in my life, it became clear to me that I was inclined towards extremes and excesses. That I had a lot of emotional holes to fill or medicate away (depression, self-loathing, etc). That I was an all-or-nothing girl when it came to anything that I might be able to enjoy or use for escape. Thanks to friends and other social connections, I had access to any substance or vice I might have wanted from about age 13. I spent a lot of time trying not to make choices that would have been bad for me. Fortunately, these days, my main substance issue appears to be food. Which, as per previous posts, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve mostly got under control. However, that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to get cocky or take a chance at all. Especially now that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve watched many a bright, capable, disciplined person fall off the wagon over and over. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve watched lives destroyed. Sometimes ended. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want that. And I feel like I have a responsibility to use my talents, which would definitely be impaired by making a ruin of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-not-ashamed"],"yoast_head":"\nNot Ashamed: Sober - Amber Bird | Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/2015\/11\/22\/not-ashamed-sober\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Not Ashamed: Sober - Amber Bird | Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If you haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t already, please read the introduction post. That will give you context for this page. Very early in my life, it became clear to me that I was inclined towards extremes and excesses. That I had a lot of emotional holes to fill or medicate away (depression, self-loathing, etc). That I was an all-or-nothing girl when it came to anything that I might be able to enjoy or use for escape. Thanks to friends and other social connections, I had access to any substance or vice I might have wanted from about age 13. I spent a lot of time trying not to make choices that would have been bad for me. Fortunately, these days, my main substance issue appears to be food. Which, as per previous posts, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve mostly got under control. However, that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to get cocky or take a chance at all. Especially now that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve watched many a bright, capable, disciplined person fall off the wagon over and over. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve watched lives destroyed. Sometimes ended. 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