{"id":774,"date":"2016-08-15T00:23:03","date_gmt":"2016-08-15T07:23:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/?p=774"},"modified":"2020-12-24T15:41:22","modified_gmt":"2020-12-24T23:41:22","slug":"i-swear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.amberbird.com\/blog\/2016\/08\/15\/i-swear\/","title":{"rendered":"I Swear…"},"content":{"rendered":"

A friend once noted that a film about my life would get an adult rating due to casual swearing, to which I replied that there is nothing casual about my swearing. And I actually mean that. And, because of that, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m writing this post especially for my friends and family who don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like swearing in their books or who don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind it for themselves but do mind it for their offspring.<\/p>\n

The short version:<\/strong> There is definitely swearing in my book. There is also a version I made just for you without it. You\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll have to scroll (or read) to the end for information about that. (Pre-order that version here <\/a>at a discounted price.)<\/em><\/p>\n

The long version…<\/strong><\/p>\n

Someone asked if there were things I worried about with my book. And, yes, there definitely are. Some are, I think, pretty universal artist concerns. I also had two specific worries that, whilst not unique to me, are less universal. You see, my book has bracing quantities of swearing and has characters with names that you might think are yours. In this post, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to talk about the first. There will be another post for the other later on.<\/p>\n

I was raised in a strictly \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no swearing\u00e2\u20ac\u009d home. The only time I recall swearing as a child, I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know that the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153f-word\u00e2\u20ac\u009d an older kid gleefully taught me whilst walking home was one of the fabled \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bad words\u00e2\u20ac\u009d that weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t allowed in our home. So, being chased about with a bar of soap to wash out my mouth when I used my new word at dinner that night was…unexpected. After that, I made it through my teens and into my 20s without swearing. (There was one time and it kind of slipped out and I was mortified. Mortified<\/em>. By that point, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d bought into the belief\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthat I now think is incorrect\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthat swearing showed laziness and\/or a poor vocabulary.)<\/p>\n

\"Lighting
\nWhen I did lighting for\u00c2\u00a0theatre, this oft-used colour gel was the bane of my existence<\/em><\/p>\n

I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t name names, but I was once shocked (shocked!) when someone I respect, someone who was in the anti-swearing camp, shared a short story of theirs in which a character swore. (Just once. And a pretty minor word. But you better believe my world was rocked.) When I asked them about it, they said that you have to stay true to your characters. And that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what I did here. Which resulted in some pretty bracing swearing.<\/p>\n

When I started swearing, it was after a long and logical conversation with myself. I chose to swear. And I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t try to convince you non-swearers to swear (though one of my reasons for the choice shows up later in terms of a choice I made about edits). In fact, most of you non-swearers haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t heard me swear. You might be shocked. (Or you might, because you were small-minded and stereotyped me based on appearance, feel vindicated in believing I was the kind of person who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d swear…Whatever gets you out of bed in the morning….)<\/p>\n

After I wrote my book, I had conversations about this with assorted people who held all kinds of opinions. In the end, I absolutely believe that the swearing is a more authentic approach. I absolutely believe that the normal version of my book is the better version, but…<\/p>\n

I understand that there are friends and family who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to support me, that there are parents out there who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d love to put this story in their offsprings\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 hands, and probably some groups of people I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t thought of, people for whom the swearing is a deal breaker. No judgement; I get it.<\/p>\n

Instead of judgement, I wanted to consider options for letting you anti-swear folks read my book. Some of you have been vocally excited about the book, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m trying not to let you down.<\/p>\n

Before I tell you what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve done, I want to be clear about two things:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. This is all the discussion I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m really interested in having with anyone who judges me for the swearing. I won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be engaging if you ask for a private explanation. Please understand that I will be ending such conversations as quickly and gracefully as I can manage.<\/li>\n
  2. I am not at all ashamed of my normal version of the book. If I were ashamed, the version I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m about to describe would be the normal one and the one with swears would be the Swear Jar Edit (that would get sold secretly).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \"A<\/p>\n

    I had the chance to discuss this with one of my anti-swear people about whose opinion I was actually worried. They took it in stride, so I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m counting on the rest of you who don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have nearly the stake in me they do to do the same. I believe in you!<\/p>\n

    Final bit of information before I tell you about the edited version. See, I suspect some of you might underestimate what I mean when I say the swearing is \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bracing,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d so I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to give you some numbers (whilst using enough censorship that this post stays swear-free). In my 340 pages of story, the following words (or conjugations thereof) show up the number of times listed here:<\/p>\n